A word with Johnny… on Christmas

Johnny, a new charater that will reappearing in the upcoming webisode series “A Series of Random Events” by IStillClapLikeThis productions and RCBI studios, is a very opionionate, critical and disturbing person and always has something to say. Today he felt like blogging his letter to Santa.

Dear Santa,

Let me explain…

As we all know at this time of year you are probably sitting on your fat ass, looking over your good and naughty list and might happen to find my name on the naughty list. well here’s the reason…

Let’s be honest… nobody gives a flying fuck about your naughty/nice list during the entire year except in december. You watchin’ all of us right, then you know damn well no flipin’ kid is gonna say “no, i won’t do that cause Santa will put me on the naughty list” in the middle of July. no! Until we have since the winning touchdown on the turkey game over the oh so struggling cowboys or decent lions and trample an old lady on Friday morning for being in our way of that tv that’s half off, you and your “list” are completly irrelevant to us. The only way we will remember you during the summer is if we watch your brother Dumbledorth in a Harry Potter movie, (sorry ofr your loss btw)

Another reason why i might be on that list is because N*gga u loafed! I’m still mad at your ass for all the other screwed ups you did the other christmases. How am I gonna ask for a new bike and your bum ass gon’ give me a set of “Tec Dec Dudes”?! You and your cheap ass! So this year i didn’t even bother being good cause I knew you wouldn’t get the right crap for me!

So You know what? Lick Ass Santa! I don’t even CARE if im on your naughty list now! Bit me! I know you a perv! watching women all year around! Stalker! I know them elves aint livin’ up there legally. Bet that’s why you up ther too! No Labor laws! And I know you scared as hell to give presents in the hood or on any MLK street! Any old white guy would! Vince Vaughn shoulda took the job! Bet every Christmas eve Miss Clause gets nailed by different midget elf while you out! yeah i said it! I’m Johnny Bitch! You best recongnize!

However if I make it this Christmas on the “Nice list” I am hopping for a new BBALL court with gold rims and silk nets. Thank you,

Sincerly Johnny
P.S. it aint just magic, homie its magic dust! Rudolph is HIGH! That deer can out last the others cause he’s smack out of his mind! He on that stuff! Ain’t nobody nose that red unless it’s bloody! Get him some help before he ODs in the sky and you crash n burn before you reach my house!


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